A Strange, Strange, Not so New World
by Blue Star Galaxy
Summary: Another portal opened, and some Starfleet officers pop through. Not quite a parody, but just fun.
1. An Amulet

I own none of the characters in the following story, they belong to Paramount, Joss Whedon, etc., you've heard it all before.

Just thought this would be fun: get my favorites together, have some craziness.  BTW, we're going to pretend that Star Trek doesn't exist in the Buffyverse, because that would require way too much writing on my part to some up with some excuse in the story as to why no one knows who Capt. Kirk &Co. are.  So Andrew exists, but he's not a Trekkie.  He can just be obsessed with Star Wars.  I think that's everything, and if I missed an explanation, more will follow in proceeding chapters.  On to the story!

"Willow?"  Giles worried voice sounded from across the Magic Box.  "Have you seen the J'Havrien amulet?"

"No," she called back, appearing from behind the bookshelf.  "It's not still in its case?"

"No, it's not," he replied, sounding harried.  He turned to the register, where Anya was standing, looking bored at the lack of customers, and the money they brought.  "Did you sell it to anyone, Anya?"

She looked offended.  "I did not.  That's a very dangerous, powerful item.  If I did sell it, you can be sure I'd have checked their credentials, first."

"Do you know where it is?"

Now Anya looked worried.  "Is it lost?  It better not be lost.  It's worth a lot of money."

"Then help me look," he instructed.  All three of them combed the magic shop for the lost amulet, to no avail.  Now they were all looking concerned.

Buffy and Xander came out of the training room, Xander looking more worn out than the girl who had actually done the training.  "What's up?" she chirped, seeing their faces.

"Giles lost a very expensive, dangerous amulet," Anya replied.

"I did not lose it," he snapped.  "It must have been stolen."

Buffy caught their look of concern.  "What does this amulet do?"

"Basically, it's used in portal spells," Willow replied.  "It does this neat thing where it takes the magic user's power, and then focuses it –"  She stopped at a look from Giles.  "I mean, it's very dangerous, and we should find it as soon as possible."

"Well, it could be anywhere, couldn't it?" Xander asked.  "What do we do, go door to door? 'Did you by any chance steal a very powerful amulet used for opening portals?'"

Willow had her I-just-got-an-idea look.  "I could trace it!"  She continued when they were all looking at her.  "The amulet has this really distinctive signal, and I could probably find it."

Giles frowned.  "Are you sure?"

She nodded.  "Sure.  Just give me sec."  She sat down in one of the chairs, and closed her eyes.  Her voice was slow and a little hesitant as she traced its path.  "It _was _stolen.  It was put… some place dark.  A bag?  And then… taken away.  But not far.  It's still reflecting energy form the Hellmouth.  That means it's still within… I don't know, ten miles or so of here?  Some place inside.  There's no light."

"It's nighttime," Xander whispered to Buffy.

Willow heard him.  "It can feel the starlight when it's outside," she murmured.  "I think it's east of here.  No, a little more northeast."  She opened her eyes and stood slowly.  "Okay," she said carefully, as if she were balancing a book on her head.  "I have a fix on it.  If we move carefully, I can tell when we get near it."

Buffy looked at the group.  "Let's go, then."


	2. another portal

Okay, I don't care about continuity. I don't know when this is, or how Andrew fits in, because he's working alone, and this is before Buffy knows about the geek trio, but she does recognize him.  But I wanted him, because he was perfect for the wimpy bad guy role. That's all. Keep reading, and please give me feedback. I don't care if it's only a line, just enough to tell me someone out there in cyberland is reading and enjoying.

They stepped outside, almost running into Spike, who seemed interested in where they were running off to.  Without the time to argue with him, Buffy let the vampire join the group.  They all piled into Giles' car, a cramped ride, with Willow directing them through the streets, until they pulled up to an old warehouse.

"This is it," she said from her shotgun seat.

By the time the gang burst into the building, they could see the ritual had already started.  A lone man in a dark robe sat on the ground in the middle of the floor, surrounded by candles.  He had his hood down, however, and when he raised his head at the commotion at the door, Buffy groaned.  It was Andrew.

"Cover me," she ordered as she ran over to the ring of candles on the ground.  They didn't even know exactly what he was doing, but based on the fact that Andrew had a tendency for causing annoying evil wherever he went, they weren't willing to take any chances.  There was a red bubble surrounding the geek, but Buffy paid it no heed – until she tried to tackle him through it and bounced off like it was rubber.  But, not to be discouraged, she jumped up and immediately threw herself at it again.  Inside, he looked up fearfully, then bent over and continued chanting even faster.

"Willow!" she yelled in frustration across the room.  Spike ran up beside her, ready to do her bidding.  She ignored him.  "It's some kind of shielding spell!"

Willow frowned.  "Hang on."  She quickly sat down from a safe distance and closed her eyes.  A moment later, her voice sounded in Buffy's mind.  "Okay, just a minute, it's not too complex…"  There was a pause.  

"Now!" the voice commanded.  She hurled herself at the young man crouched by the candles.  The red glare of a shielding spell around him dissipated, and Buffy allowed herself a small smile of gratitude that Willow had done her job.  She landed on top of Andrew, and he collapsed without much fight.

He only struggled faintly as she rolled him over, slamming him against the ground.  "You're opening some sort of portal.  How do you stop it?"

He whimpered.  "You don't."

"Tell me right now, or I'll –"

"You can't!" he insisted, obviously terrified of the girl sitting on top of him. "Once I've started, the portal has to open. There's no way to reverse this –"

"But you're not done. So what was left to do?"

He made one last attempt at evilness.  "I won't tell you.  You will never –"

He was cut off as his head thumped painfully into the ground.  "Ow!  Alright, alright.  I had to specify where the gate was going to open."

"So what will happen now?"

"I don't know!" he cried urgently.  "It might open anywhere!  An untold hell dimension, one into the past, or future, or –"

"I get the picture.  How do you close it?"

"It closes automatically after whatever is meant to go through does."

Buffy was cut off from her next question by the howling of the portal.  It grew, swirling large and purple-blue, and Giles shouted over to her.  "Buffy! You have to stop it _now_!"

"I can't!" she screamed back over the rush of wind, and ducked as lightning came out of nowhere, cracking through the room.  She threw herself down beside Andrew, who was babbling about something.  Another crack of lightning shocked the room, and Buffy felt the hair on her arms rise with the flood of power that swept through the area.  

And then it was quiet.  She picked up her head and looked around.  The portal was closed, and things looked much the same.

"Pet?" she heard Spike's voice behind her, checking to see if she was ok.  The others' voices rang out, too, in the next moment.

Everything seemed to be alright.  Everything, in fact, seemed exactly the same as before the portal opened.  Except that Andrew was missing.  Instead of one geek beside her, there were three men.  They sat up, eying her uncertainly.

"Jim?" the one in blue questioned, an am-I-really-seeing-what-I-think-I'm-seeing look.

"Captain," the other one in blue said softly.  Buffy noted he was some sort of demon with pointed ears.  "The energy vortex must have acted as a gateway, depositing us here."

"And here is?" the one in gold asked equally softly.  He glanced around at the others, who were starting to gather around.

"Sunnydale," Buffy answered politely.  "Where are you from?"

They all rose to their feet.  "The _Enterprise_," the gold-clad one answered.  At her blank look, he added quickly.  "It's a starship."

She cocked her head, and exchanged a glance with her Watcher.  "Oh, my," was his only contribution.  He went to work busily cleaning his glasses.  


End file.
